Consent
by Tenka-chan
Summary: Tatsuhacentric If sex is, and always has been, as frequent and meaningless as changing your shirt, how do you know if you want it or not? WARNING: rape, strong language, violence, drug use, all the angstaddict's cup of tea
1. Rape

A/N: Hello to you all! Thank you for taking the time to read my humble fic. First off, I would like to say a few things. One, this story has rape in it, if you couldn't guess that by the title and summary. Two, it is Tatsuha-centric, but I don't know if I'll make it Ryuichi/Tatsuha. chases after yaoi fangirls WAIT!!! DON'T LEAVE!!! I promise if I get enough reviews, I will make it whatever you want. However, I would just like to point out that this is more of a character study than a romance. It will mostly center on Tatsuha and his relationships with his family. As I've said in my profile, I don't write yaoi unless it's canon, and even though Ryuichi/Tatsuha is pretty much defined in EX, I have a hard time figuring out their relationship, since RYUICHI IS SUCH AN ENIGMA! Therefore, for the sake of the story, EX never happened. Also, this takes place when Tatsuha is 16.

On with the fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or its characters. I make no profit by this, and it is purely for my own demented amusement.

On with the fic, for real this time!

* * *

**Rape – n.**

**The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts**

**Abusive or improper treatment; violation **

* * *

Tatsuha felt great. He had gotten into one of the hottest new clubs in Tokyo, and he hadn't even needed help from any of his relatives to do so. The bouncer had been a little skeptical when he'd first seen his fake ID, but, after a little _persuasion_ from the black-haired teen, he'd waved Tatsuha on without a word.

Tatsuha stormed right onto the dance floor. He started to dance more freely and provocatively than he'd ever danced before. He was vaguely aware of the many pairs of eyes, both female and male, that had settled on his body as he continued to move with all the passion he possessed.

_Who cares? I want them to look._

He slowly began to feel all the tension of the past few weeks flowing out of his body. He forgot the temple, his father, his siblings and all their problems, and even his dear obsession, Ryuichi. He'd probably return to playing errand boy and middleman in the morning, but for now, he was free.

Perhaps if he hadn't been in such a foul mood, and the previous weeks hadn't been so stressful, he would have paid more attention to the leering gazes following his every move.

As the night wore on, Tatsuha continued to dance and drink until he felt his own legs couldn't support him anymore. One by one, the guests slowly began to filter out. Tatsuha received many offers for other nightly activities, but gracefully turned them all down. Although he hadn't thought it would ever be possible, Tatsuha simply wasn't in the mood for sex.

Sweaty and exhausted, Tatsuha made to exit the club. He'd never make it home in time to start the temple services, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

By the time he realized he'd been followed, it was too late.

* * *

Yuki cursed as he stumbled his way down the hallway of his apartment. Who in the hell would be banging on his door this early in the morning? He glanced at the clock. 10:32 a.m. Okay, so it wasn't _early_ morning, but his point was still valid.

He yanked at the door to calmly tell the knocker to go the fuck away, only to pause when he saw the person standing in his doorway.

It was a woman. A doctor or nurse, judging by her clothes. She was older than him, but still young, probably in her late twenties. She was plain in appearance, with regular dark hair and eyes with thin wire-rimmed glasses. Under her right arm was a single manila folder whose label he couldn't quite read. The woman fixed him with a hard stare.

"Are you the brother of Tatsuha Uesugi?" she asked.

He stared blankly at her. "That depends. What's he done?" If Tatsuha had gone and knocked up some chick and blamed him for it, he would rip apart every Ryuichi poster the little punk owned.

Ignoring the question, the woman explained. "I'm Dr. Kaori Soba. I work at the Mercy Free Clinic downtown. Your brother came in to see me this morning. He told me he had a brother who lived somewhere in Tokyo, so I decided to come look for you." She paused. "There's something you should know."

Yuki's eyes narrowed as he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "What is it?" he asked, lighting up. If it was drugs, he swore he would beat Tatsuha black and blue and then give him to Mika. He wasn't stupid; he knew Tatsuha was a semi-regular user of most drugs on the market, but he thought his brother was smart enough to at least know how much his body could and couldn't take.

"Are you familiar with a club named Spin?" she inquired, once again ignoring his question. Yuki began to feel his temper rising, and, although he'd never admit it, a little bit of worry. He did know the club. He also knew that it had quite the reputation for trouble. But, why would Tatsuha have been there? He hadn't been in to see him or Shuichi recently. When had he even come to Tokyo? Yuki swore to himself that if this whole thing turned out to be nothing, he would beat both Tatsuha and this infuriating woman to death. How did Tatsuha know this doctor anyway?

"Yeah, what about it? What's it got to do with my brother?" Yuki was growing impatient. If he didn't start getting some straight answers out of this crazy lady in his doorway soon, heads were going to roll.

Said crazy lady closed her eyes and sighed. She took a deep breath, opened her eyes, and looked straight at Yuki.

Yuki didn't know what he had expected to hear, but what he did hear, he would never forget.

"I believe that your brother was gang-raped there last night."

_…your …brother…_

…_gang-raped…_

…_last…night…_

The cigarette fell to the floor.

_Tatsuha…_

**raped.**

* * *

**Spin and Mercy Free Clinic are made up (duh). I know they're not original. Sue me. All I have is a Parisians Coupon (no own) and a key chain that lights up.**

**A/N: Yay, chappie one! Whatcha think? Good? Bad? Okay? Sucktastic? I want to know. The chapters will get A LOT longer, so don't worry about that.**

**Flames will be ignored or printed out and made fun of by my friends and myself if particularly stupid.**


	2. Answer

EEEEE!!!!! Thank you all for the wonderful compliments! You've made my day! Now, for some answers to some questions that will give you even more questions to answer!……… What? People do it on the TV all the time!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. Boo Hoo

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**Answer – n**

**a spoken or written reply or response to a question, request, letter, etc.**

**a correct response to a question asked to test one's knowledge.**

**an action serving as a reply or response**

**a reply to a charge or accusation.**

**

* * *

**

Yuki froze. His mind was working agonizingly slow. _Gang-raped. Tatsuha. My brother. Club. Spin. Last night. Tatsuha. _He was broken out of his shock by a sharp pain in his right foot. He looked down at the cigarette he'd dropped as it continued to burn away and blinked.

_Tatsuha. Raped. Kitazawa. _He stomped the cigarette out as hard as he could with his bare foot, and looked up. This woman, this doctor, had come to his apartment to tell him that his brother had been raped. No, not just raped. _Gang-raped_.

_Wait._

Yuki glared at the woman. "Where is Tatsuha now?" he demanded. He had to get to the hospital. He had to tell Mika. Oh, gods, Mika. Yuki quickly pushed all thoughts of his sister out of his mind. First, he needed answers.

Dr. Soba's eyes softened as she answered. "He's back in Kyoto."

Yuki paused. "Well, what hospital is he in?"

"He's not in a hospital. He just went home after he asked me for a blood test," she answered.

Yuki stared at her. This woman, this _doctor_, had just told him that his brother was gang-raped at a club in Tokyo the previous night, but was back in Kyoto the following morning.

_What the hell is going on!_

"Why would he just go home? Why didn't you keep him there or call one of his relatives?" he demanded. What kind of doctor was she?

"Because, it's an anonymous clinic and Tatsuha didn't want to be admitted to a hospital." Dr. Soba looked away as she answered him.

"Why the fuck not?" Yuki raged. He knew Tatsuha could be stubborn when it came to hospitals, but why would he just leave after being fucking raped? This wasn't making any sense at all!

"Because he doesn't think he was raped!" she exploded at him. Her shoulder slumped, as if in relieved defeat.

Yuki froze again. His mind was reeling. "What the fuck do you mean? You just said he was!" _What the fuck is going on!_

She fixed him with a weary look. "May I come in? It may take a while to explain."

Yuki bit down the urge to punch her. Who did this bitch think she was? But then he realized that the only way of getting a straight answer would be to do as she said, so he turned and led her into the living room. Dr. Soba sat down on the couch and began to explain.

"I've seen Tatsuha before at the clinic. Like most of our patients, he comes in for free anonymous blood tests. Most teenagers don't want their parents to know if they get an STD, so they come to the clinic to get a prescription." Well, that sounded like Tatsuha. He knew his brother would never tell the old man if he got something like the clap, even if the look on the his face would've been priceless.

"However, this morning, when he came in, he was in a very…disheveled state." At Yuki's glare, she went on to explain, "His hair was a mess, his clothes were rumpled and torn, and he had bruises on various parts of his body.

"At first I thought he had just taken something, but when I asked him about it, he just begged me for a blood test. He wanted to know if he had any STDs, he said."

"What did you do?" Yuki prompted her. Things still weren't adding up.

"I took his blood and told him I'd let him know the results in a few days. Then, I asked him why he wanted to know so badly. He just laughed it off and told me it was nothing, that he'd just gotten a little hot and heavy with a few guys and he didn't use a condom." She replied.

"So, why do you think he was raped?" Yuki really needed a drink. Scotch. No, whiskey. Really, really good whisky.

"Because I may not know Tatsuha all that well, but I do know rape victims. Whenever he came in before, he was always laid back and charming. He wasn't acting like himself this morning, and there was one other thing also." She added. "I know he's not a virgin with women or men and hasn't been for awhile. But, when he got up from the chair after I'd taken his blood for the tests, there was blood in the seat. I tried to confront him, but he wouldn't let me. He just laughed it all off."

Yuki got up. He couldn't take this. How could Tatsuha have gotten himself gang-raped? And why wouldn't he admit that it had happened? He wanted answers, and Eiri Yuki got what he wanted.

"Why did you even come here? You hardly know Tatsuha, and this whole thing is none of your business anyway." He watched the doctor slowly stand up. She walked down the hall to the door, and paused with a hand on the knob.

"I know more about this than you do, Mr. Yuki. I know that a sixteen-year-old boy was hurt terribly last night, and I know that no one seems to care, not even the boy himself. I came here because I spend every day seeing people just like your brother come in beaten and broken and I can never do anything to help any of them. I hope you can help Tatsuha, because I never want to see him come in my clinic looking the way he did ever again." With that said, Dr. Soba opened the door and exited with a quiet, "Thank you for your time."

Yuki stared at the door for a good three and a half minutes before he turned and walked into the bedroom. He emerged a few moments later fully clothed. He grabbed his wallet and keys off the counter, and stormed out the door. He was going to Kyoto.

He wanted answers, and Eiri Yuki got what he wanted.

* * *

A/N: Okay, that didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to, but at least it's out of the way, so I can actually get to Tatsuha. It seems like there was nothing but dialogue in this chapter. PLEASE DON'T RUNAWAY, GOOD REVIEWERS!!!!!! I SWEAR THE ANGST WILL GET BETTER. I'm just glad I got the real plot all out there. Tatsuha **was** raped, he just doesn't realize it since he's so dependant on sex. Well, we'll touch more on that later! (the chapters will get longer too)

PLEASE REVIEW AND I PROMISE I'LL DO BETTER!!!!


	3. Confront

A/N: Okay, here's the big confrontation. I'm trying really hard not to make Yuki OOC, but I mean, who wouldn't be OOC?!

* * *

**Confront – v**

**to face in hostility or defiance; oppose**

**to present for acknowledgment, contradiction, etc.;**

**to stand or come in front of; stand or meet facing**

* * *

Tatsuha felt like shit. He hadn't gotten any sleep last night and had spent the entire following morning riding an extremely uncomfortable motorcycle three hours back to Kyoto, only to get chewed out by his father for his 'irresponsible tendencies'.

And to top it all off, he was currently having to listen to a partially balding teacher drone on and on about the importance of linear algebra.

Tatsuha didn't even know why he'd come to classes that day; he usually just bummed out of school to do his 'religious duties'. Although, to be perfectly honest, Tatsuha liked school. He'd never admit it, but it actually felt refreshing to be able to hang around kids his own age and just laze around like a normal teenager.

Normal teenager.

Normal? Tatsuha choked back a laugh. He wasn't a normal teenager. He was what every normal teenager wished they could be.

He was cool, confident, and good-looking. He had a motorcycle and the freedom to go wherever he wanted on it. He could drink and smoke whenever he felt like it, and take whatever drugs he wanted to take. He went to clubs and concerts on his own, without having to worry about childish things like curfews and chaperones.

He had sex every night, with man, woman, or both.

He never had to worry about sneaking out or being caught. As long as he did what was required of him, no one cared what he did. It had been that way for as long as he could remember, and it was the way he liked it.

Even though it never really was his choice.

* * *

Yuki cursed loudly as he swerved past another car. He was driving like a man possessed, but didn't particularly care. He was close to the outskirts of Kyoto and his fury hadn't waned in the slightest.

The two and a half hours spent reflecting in the vehicle hadn't helped at all. He still had no idea how this all had happened.

Who was he kidding? He knew how it had happened. Tatsuha had been spinning out of control for years and no one had noticed. He was just so passive, independent, and mature, aside from his little obsession. It was always so easy to ignore him. As long as Tatsuha did what was required of him, no one cared what he did.

The Kyoto city limits approached, and a wave of nostalgia hit him full force.

He saw an ebony-haired ten-year-old at the airport, waving with a big smile. He saw the boy's face fall as his older brother brushed right past him without a word.

He saw the same boy with tears running down his face as he mourned what had happened to his brother, and also what his brother had become.

He saw a twelve-year-old boy in a middle school uniform, face wrinkled as he fumbled to light his first cigarette. He smirked proudly at his brother as he finally succeeded, only to dissolve into a coughing fit a few seconds later. His smile couldn't be suppressed, however, when his brother reached over to hit him on the back.

He saw a thirteen-year-old boy take his first drink. He watched him wince as he swallowed the amber liquid, cigarette balanced between his fingers with practiced ease. He saw him wake up hours later on his brother's couch with his first hangover.

He saw a fourteen-year-old boy make out shamelessly with a woman ten years his senior. He saw the boy laugh as he stubbed his cigarette out in an empty beer can when the woman commented on his uncanny resemblance to his older brother.

He saw a fifteen-year-old boy show up at his brother's door, high as a kite, looking for a place to crash. He saw the boy collapse as his brother merely told him not to throw up on his good couch.

Yuki blinked as he drove into the heart of Kyoto, making all the necessary turns from memory. Tatsuha had been the only one to never judge him. He had given him unconditional acceptance. He'd been the first of his family to fully accept Shuichi. Hell, he'd accepted him from the very beginning, even knowing about both Ayaka and Kitazawa.

Tatsuha was a loud, obnoxious, pain-in-the-ass, but he was also a good brother.

* * *

Tatsuha sneezed as the dismissal bell rang. He hoped he wasn't getting a cold on top of everything else that was happening. He gathered his things and stiffly made his way outside. Damn, he was sore. He needed a nap. And a shower. A long, hot shower.

"Hey, Tatsuha! I haven't seen you here in a while!" Tatsuha suppressed a grimace as he turned to face one of his classmates. Kazue, that was his name. At least that's what Tatsuha thought it was. He didn't have that many school friends. He was actually quite popular, but he didn't spend enough time at school to have actual friends. Not that Tatsuha minded, of course.

"Yeah, things at the temple were slow, so I decided to catch up," he replied, hoping that was all Kazue wanted. For once, he actually wanted to get home as soon as possible.

"That's cool. So, anyways, there's a big party this Saturday night at Yuba's house. You wanna come? It's gonna be pretty wild." Tatsuha didn't have a clue who Yuba was, but knew he probably had a different concept of 'wild' than he did. He declined with an excuse about a funeral service he had to perform. Kazue looked pretty crestfallen, but had given him the address anyway, saying, "just in case you get the time."

Tatsuha pocketed the address as he made his way over to his motorcycle. All he wanted at that moment was a shower and a nap.

He eased onto his motorcycle with a wince. Dammit, he was still sore. He froze for a minute as his mind wandered back to Dr. Soba. She had said that the results from the blood tests would be in by the end of the week. What if he had gotten a disease from one of those guys? His blood ran cold as he thought of the possibilities. What if he had HIV? Tatsuha suddenly felt sick. He desperately tried to push all thoughts of the previous night out of his mind. He was feeling more filthy and exhausted by the minute.

Get a hold of yourself, Uesugi. It's not like you haven't gotten tested before. Quit being such a goddamn pussy boy.

He drove home with less of his usual recklessness. He felt like he was about to fall off his bike. He just wanted this day to end.

* * *

Yuki pulled up in front of the Uesugi Temple. He noticed right away that Tatsuha's metal deathtrap was missing, which meant he wasn't home.

_Damn._

He hadn't thought about that. He hadn't really thought about anything aside from barging in and demanding answers from Tatsuha. He realized that if he wanted to confront Tatsuha, he would have to either wait in the driveway for an undetermined period of time like a moron, or go inside and face his father.

He decided to wait in the driveway.

* * *

Tatsuha fought to keep his eyes open as the temple came into view. He hoped if he was quiet and went in the back way, his father wouldn't notice his return. He didn't feel like enduring a lecture on his 'responsibilities to the family'.

He didn't notice the other car in the driveway until he'd parked his bike and hung up his helmet. In his fatigued state of mind, he vaguely recognized the vehicle, but didn't particularly care at the moment. He saw a blond young man emerge from the car as he walked by.

He didn't recognize the owner of the car until he had seized both sides of his jacket and slammed him into the vehicle.

"Uh, hey, Aniki. What's up?" Tatsuha frantically tried to think of anything he'd done recently to put him on his brother's shit list. He hadn't done anything to his brother or Shuichi in the past few weeks. He didn't know what he could've possibly done to get his brother to come to Kyoto, the same city their _father_ lived in, to rough him up.

Yuki just glared at his younger brother. After a few long moments of intense scrutiny, he finally spoke.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" he growled, his knuckles turning white as his grip of the jacket tightened. Tatsuha was beginning to panic. What had he done? What the hell was happening?

"I don't know what you're talking about! I haven't done anything to anybody, seriously! I haven't even seen Shuichi or Ryuichi in weeks!" Tatsuha tried to escape his brother's vice-like grip. He did not feel like getting into a brawl with his brother, especially when he was so close to his bed.

Yuki could feel his temper rising. Why was Tatsuha acting like nothing had happened? He remembered Dr. Soba saying something about Tatsuha not thinking he was raped, but hadn't really thought it was true.

"Where were you last night?" he barked. In the back of his mind, he vaguely realized that what he was doing probably wasn't the appropriate method of approaching a rape victim. He shoved that thought out of his mind. If Tatsuha didn't think he was a rape victim, he wouldn't treat him like one. But he was going to get his answers, one way or another.

Tatsuha froze. "I went a lot of places last night," he answered tentatively.

Yuki yanked Tatsuha up so they were practically nose-to-nose. "What about Spin? Is that one of the 'places' you went to last night?" he growled. He saw all the color drain from his brother's face. That was all the confirmation he needed. He loosened his grip on his brother's jacket, but didn't let go. "How did it happen?" he asked in a lower, somewhat softer tone.

Tatsuha went rigid. "Nothing happened," he replied. "I went in around ten, left with a couple of guys a few hours later, and things just got a little edgy." Yuki released his jacket. Tatsuha closed his eyes in relief, when he suddenly felt a hand seize his arm and twist him around painfully. He felt something brush against the back of his pants before he was yanked back around to face his brother. Yuki held up his hand, which was smeared with a sticky red substance. Blood. Riding on the motorcycle must've started the bleeding again. How humiliating.

"Edgy, huh?" Yuki sneered as he rubbed his fingers together. "That what they call rape now?"

"Rape!?" Tatsuha was floored. Yuki thought he was raped? He suddenly realized why his brother had come. Dr. Soba must've contacted him. He was going to give that bitch hell the next time he saw her. "You think I was raped?!"

Yuki looked almost as confused as Tatsuha. He looked even more confused when Tatsuha started to laugh.

"Look, Aniki, things may have gotten a little out of hand, but come on! Rape?" Tatsuha laughed. Leave it to the drama queens in his family to blow something trivial completely out of proportion.

Yuki wasn't convinced. He suddenly understood Dr. Soba's frustration. He had no idea how one was supposed to help a person with no idea that he or she was hurt.

"So, I'm supposed to believe that you went to a club last night, left and had unprotected, consensual sex with a group of guys you didn't know, and then went to a free clinic to get a blood test to check for STDs," Yuki said dryly. Who did Tatsuha think he was fooling with this shit?

Tatsuha was beginning to get angry. His brother, who normally wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire, was suddenly showing up randomly in his driveway talking about rape and making fun of him at the same time?

"Yeah," he spat. "You're supposed to believe it 'cause it's the truth! I don't know what you may or may not think, Aniki, but I, unlike some people, don't go crying 'rape' every time things get a little rough!" The moment the words left his mouth, Tatsuha wanted to take them back, but he couldn't.

Yuki punched his brother. Hard.

Tatsuha hit the pavement on his side. He groaned as he nursed his aching jaw. That was going to leave a bruise. He realized he had crossed a very delicate line and opened his mouth to apologize, but never got the chance. He saw his brother get back in his car, slam the door shut, and drive away.

Holding his aching jaw, Tatsuha stumbled into the house. He collapsed on his bed with a moan. How could this day get any worse?

* * *

Yuki cursed. That confrontation had failed miserably and catastrophically. He realized he needed a game plan if he was going to get Tatsuha to accept help. It wasn't just about the rape anymore. His brother was so far gone, he didn't even know what rape was. He was going to need backup. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed from memory.

"Tohma? It's Yuki. We need to talk."

* * *

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! The brothers fight! Don't worry, there will be bonding! Just not now!!!!!!

PLEASE REVIEW!!!! IT ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!


	4. Plan

A/N: Okay, so the big confrontation failed miserably. I was going to make it all fluffy, when I realized that Yuki and Tatsuha are two of the most stubborn brothers you'll ever see, and they're not masters of sensitivity either. So, it'll take a lot of outside help to get the brothers to be honest with each other. And the first is…Tohma! Yay! (Audience: Boo!)

Disclaimer: Okay, I forgot it in the last chapter, so this is for both of them. I don't own Gravitation, so (insert witty disclaimer joke here).

* * *

**Plan – v**

**to arrange a method or scheme beforehand for any work, enterprise, or proceeding**

**to have as a specific aim or purpose; intend**

* * *

Tohma Seguchi was not an easy man to surprise. He'd been working the music industry his entire life, and had single-handedly climbed his way up to the top of the social ladder. He'd threatened, blackmailed, and all out crushed many people to get where he was, and he was proud of it. He prided himself on knowing every underhanded trick in the book. He'd even invented some new ones of his own. He'd endured the countless mood swings and publicity stunts of both his band mates and his employees with a charming smile.

However, at that moment, Tohma found himself completely and utterly floored. He gaped at the blond man sitting across from him. Yuki merely stayed silent, staring right back at him.

He didn't know why he'd come to Tohma. He felt like such a child, running to an adult when he'd failed to fix a problem. But three more hours of mad driving back to Tokyo had forced him to admit that if anyone could solve this problem, it was the NG president. So he drove to NG, stalked right past the awestruck secretary and into the president's office and told him all that had happened.

A few moments later, Tohma finally found his voice.

"Are you sure about this? Forgive me for sounding insensitive, but Tatsuha isn't exactly the type to get…well, you know…" he trailed off.

"Gang-banged?" Yuki finished, still staring as Tohma winced at the vulgar wording. Sometimes he thought Tohma was more sensitive about New York than he was.

"I wouldn't call it that, but yes," Tohma replied. "I mean, you said he didn't actually tell you that he was…forced."

"He was," Yuki said firmly. "I know it. And so did that doctor."

"Doctor?" Tohma asked. "What doctor? Was Tatsuha hospitalized?" Tohma severely doubted it. If Tatsuha had been admitted to a hospital, he'd have known about it immediately. He liked to keep close tabs on all his family members, even the ones he wasn't particularly close to.

"Some lady doctor that came barging into my apartment this morning. She said Tatsuha went in for some kind of 'no-questions-asked' blood test and then left for Kyoto. She said he told her he'd been at some club called Spin all night." Yuki recounted all the information Dr. Soba had given him. It wasn't much, but considering what he'd gotten out of Tatsuha, it was a gold mine.

It didn't show on his face, but Tohma was extremely puzzled. What kind of self-respecting doctor would risk a lawsuit and her medical license for a patient who'd come in for a simple blood test? "What was the doctor's name?" he asked.

Yuki looked slightly confused, but answered him. "Soba. Kaori Soba, I think. She said she worked at a free clinic, but I can't remember which."

_Interesting_, Tohma thought. He'd have to have a talk with this Kaori Soba person. How well did she know his brother-in-law? _Obviously better than you do,_ he thought bitterly.

It was true that he and Tatsuha weren't very close, but he had never had any reason to dislike him. Blatant Ryuichi worship aside, Tohma liked Tatsuha. He was smart, respectful, and always did what was best for his family. In truth, he actually pitied the young man for getting stuck in a position in the family with all the work and none of the recognition. Tohma knew if he'd been in Tatsuha's shoes, he never would've put up with all the obligations that came with being the youngest Uesugi. It was admirable the way the young man went to such great lengths to keep his family together. The only things Tohma disliked about Tatsuha were his Ryuichi obsession and turbulent lifestyle. He'd spoken to Mika about her brother's out-of-control behavior many times, but she'd never known what to do about it. He'd even spoken to Uesugi senior about having Tatsuha move out to Tokyo with him and Mika, but the aging monk would not hear of it.

He hated to admit it, but in the back of his mind, Tohma had always half-expected something horrible to happen to Tatsuha. And now it had.

And for the first time in six years, Tohma Seguchi had no idea what to do.

"Who else knows?" he asked Yuki. Mika couldn't possibly know, or else he'd have heard about it. The same went for Uesugi senior.

"No one except that doctor chick," Yuki answered. He wondered how the others would react when they heard about what had happened. _What others?_

Aside from Mika and maybe Shuichi, who would care?

"_I know more about this than you do, Mr. Yuki. I know that a sixteen-year-old boy was hurt terribly last night, and I know that no one seems to care, not even the boy himself."_

Dr. Soba's words reverberated in his mind. Yuki quickly stomped the rising feeling of guilt down. It wasn't his fault Tatsuha had no friends his own age, dammit!

"And when you confronted Tatsuha about all this," Tohma prompted. He was a little overwhelmed and wanted all his facts straight.

"He denied it. He said he went to the club, and things just got 'edgy'. But he was still bleeding and froze up like a goddamn deer in the headlights when I asked him about it," Yuki replied in a clipped tone. Tohma nodded, politely ignoring Yuki's right hand, which was bruised at the knuckles and smeared with dried blood. Tohma sighed.

"So, we've got you, me, an undetermined number of unidentified attackers, a doctor who knows more than she's letting on, and a victim who doesn't think he's been victimized," he paused. "We definitely need a game plan. I'll try and gather as much information as I can. You just go home and rest, you look exhausted. I'll call you when I have more details. Oh, and it's probably best if we keep this as quiet as possible until we have a solid strategy."

"Which means don't tell Mika," Yuki clarified.

"Or Shuichi," Tohma finished with a slight smile.

Yuki nodded and stood up. He gave Tohma a curt goodbye and walked out. Tohma watched him leave and then pulled out his cell phone. He had to find out more about this Dr. Soba. They needed to have a nice, long talk.

Yuki walked out of the studio and towards his apartment, leaving his car in the parking garage. He'd done enough driving for one day.

* * *

Dr. Soba looked over all her patient's charts one final time before she left for home. It was past five o'clock; the clinic had already closed. She was alone since most of the staff had already left. She closed the charts and filed them off. She paused when she came to the last one.

Uesugi, Tatsuha. Dr. Soba sighed when she thought about that sweet, but confused, boy. She wondered if his brother had contacted him yet, although she highly doubted it would make any kind of difference. Sometimes, she really hated her job.

Kaori Soba had become a doctor to help people, but she had soon realized that she was completely powerless in that area. All she could do was fix the wounds put on those wild, delinquent, _wonderful_ kids that came in every day. All the battered girlfriends, all the teenage mothers, all the druggies, all the poor, innocent _kids_ who had to drag themselves to a free clinic because no one cared enough to offer up the money to take them to a real hospital. She could never help them, because the second they left, it would happen again. And it would be worse. She could never stop it from happening, and she hated herself for it.

Dr. Soba was pulled out of her silent reverie when she heard file room door open. She whirled around to face a smiling blond man dressed in odd clothing. His smile widened as he stepped forward to speak to her.

"Hello, Dr. Soba," the man said, settling his steely blue gaze on her. Dr. Soba was very unnerved. How had this man gotten in when the clinic was closed?

"Um, excuse me, do I know you?" she asked carefully. Something about this man's smile scared her. "If you're here for medical attention, I'm afraid you'll have to come back tomorrow. We're closed."

"No, I don't require medical attention, and if I did, I certainly wouldn't come to a run down shack like this to seek it." He went on with a smile. "Forgive me for not introducing myself. I assumed you'd heard of me. My name is Tohma Seguchi. I'm the president of NG Records."

"And why are you here?" Dr. Soba did not like this man one bit, but fought to sound civil. She wasn't used to dealing with big shot businessmen in her area of work.

"I'm here in regards to the boy whose file you're holding," he answered. Dr. Soba's blood ran cold. What did this man want with Tatsuha? Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"If you're one of the sick bastards that hurt him, you can go to hell!" she shouted, stepping back.

Seguchi's smile turned icy. "I can assure you that I would never do such a horrible thing to my brother-in-law." Her eyes widened. _Brother-in-law?_ "I've come here to get the information I need so I can help him."

Dr. Soba blushed. "I apologize for jumping to conclusions. I knew that Tatsuha had many celebrities in his family, but I had no idea that, well…"

Seguchi's smile became a little less cold. "It's quite alright. I just want to know exactly what happened to Tatsuha." He walked over and deftly plucked the file out of Dr. Soba's hands. She gasped.

"You can't look in that! It's classified material!" she exclaimed.

"Now, Dr. Soba, I hardly think you're an expert on what is and is not classified," he laughed, opening the file. "Oh, the infamous blood test results! Hmm, all negative, that's a relief! I'm curious, though. With such pleasant results, wouldn't Tatsuha want to know?"

Dr. Soba gulped. "I-I tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer," she stammered. This man was beginning to frighten her.

"Why is there no other information in the file?" Seguchi asked, looking up after scanning the meager contents of the file.

"Technically, he isn't supposed to even have a file. All he ever came in for was blood tests, and those are done anonymously here," she answered carefully.

"So why does he have a file, then?" Seguchi prompted.

"Because I was hoping I could convince him to get an examination when he came in for his test results." Dr. Soba was beginning to regret not leaving early.

"Examination? Why? Was he hurt?" Seguchi demanded. Dr. Soba didn't know what to do. How could she be sure this man was here to help Tatsuha?

"I'm sorry," she responded. "I'd tell you, but I could lose my license."

"Dr. Soba, I don't think you understand the situation you've put yourself in," Seguchi's smile dropped, and Dr. Soba paled. "A member of my family is in trouble, and I am going to do all in my power to help him, as family should. And if you get in my way, I assure you that you _will_ lose your license, and I will make sure this pathetic facility you call a clinic is shut down."

Dr. Soba fought to keep from shaking. She received many threats from many different types of 'dangerous' people almost every day, but this man was actually serious. She got the feeling he could ruin her career and the clinic, and would do so with a smile on his face. She sighed; she sincerely hoped this man was really looking out for Tatsuha's best interests.

"Alright, I'll tell you what happened," she said in a resigned tone.

_Dr. Soba slurped the last of her morning coffee as she made her way to the clinic. She had just dropped the empty cup into the trashcan outside the clinic, when something peculiar caught her eye. She up at the bench across the street, where she saw a dark-haired young man sitting slumped over on the bench. His clothes were torn and dirtied and his hair was disheveled. The young man stood up stiffly and made his way across the street to the clinic. As he drew closer, his face came into view, and Dr. Soba gasped._

"_Tatsuha!" she called, walking over to the young man. He jumped slightly and stared at her for a moment before his eyes lit up in recognition._

"_Hey, Doc," he called, meeting up with her at the door. "I need a favor," he told her, holding the door open for her._

"_What else is new?" she joked, nodding her head in thanks as they walked into the clinic. He flashed her his million-dollar smile, as he usually did when he wanted a favor, but, for some reason, it seemed a bit off to Dr. Soba. He seemed nervous, jittery even. Dr. Soba's eyes narrowed. "Tatsuha, are you high?" she asked sharply._

"_What?" Tatsuha seemed genuinely confused. "No! Seriously, I've been clean for…days." He met her glare with a sheepish grin. "I just need a blood test. Things got a little wild last night and I want to make sure my produce is still as fresh as it was yesterday." He winked at her. Dr. Soba snorted._

"_If you valued your 'produce', you would've used a condom like all the other smart people of the world," she scolded good-naturedly. She knew Tatsuha usually used a condom, but anyone with his track record would be likely to forget occasionally. She led him down the hall to the lab. "So, give me all the juicy details. Did you even catch his name this time?"_

" '_His'?" Tatsuha exclaimed. "You know, most guys would be offended if you automatically assumed it was a dude." _

"_Yes, but I know you, Tatsuha, and I know that you only 'forget' when it's a guy," she answered. She was well aware of Tatsuha's sexual preference, or lack thereof, and knew that he only ever came in for a blood test after an all-nighter when he'd been with a guy. Or guys._

"_Well, not that it's any of your business, but they were guys. All four of 'em," he huffed indignantly. She rolled her eyes, but kept her mouth shut. She knew better than to lecture someone like Tatsuha about his lifestyle. The best thing that could come from her doing that was Tatsuha not following her advice, and the worst thing would be Tatsuha not following her advice _or_ coming into the clinic._

_As she drew Tatsuha's blood for the tests, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off with Tatsuha. Normally he would've been gloating about his nightly escapade, but instead he avoided all her other questions and was surprisingly tight-lipped about all the other details of his little encounter. When the bloodwork was complete, Dr. Soba smiled at Tatsuha._

"_Well, you know the drill, Tatsuha. The results from the tests should be back in about 24 hours. I'll call you when they do and you can come back in then," she froze for a moment when Tatsuha stood. Something red had caught her eye. She looked behind Tatsuha to the seat he had previously occupied. There was a pool of blood. Tatsuha didn't even seem to notice. "Um, Tatsuha, I think you should stick around for a little while. You look distressed, maybe I should have a look at you." Tatsuha gave her an incredulous look._

" '_Distressed'?" he snorted. " I'm fine Doc, really. You don't need to worry about me." Dr. Soba stared at him intently for a moment._

"_Are you sure, Tatsuha?" she prodded. "You know, if something happened, something you didn't want to happen, you can tell me." Tatsuha quirked an eyebrow. _

"_Didn't want? Are you okay, Doc? I told you, things just got a little hot and heavy last night. It wasn't anything serious, really."_

"_Tatsuha, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but please, if something bad went on, you've got to tell _someone_," she stressed. She was convinced something had gone on last night. There was just no way Tatsuha could have been intimate with four men without any protection consensually. Not unless he was high or extremely drunk, which she knew not to be the case. Even Tatsuha had some standards, low as they may be._

"_Look, I told you! Nothing bad happened. If it had, I would've stopped it. I would've fought them, I'm not some fuckin' pussy boy," he shouted. "I'll see myself out.'' With that said, Tatsuha stormed out of the clinic. Dr. Soba sighed sadly. After that display, she knew for sure what had happened to Tatsuha. She also knew she'd probably never see him in the clinic again. Leaning over the chair, she took out some swabs and brushed them over the seat. She bagged them and put them in the cooler right next to Tatsuha's bloodwork._

_Striding over to the clinic's main computer, she began to search through the names and addresses, looking for a specific name. Finding the name and address she was looking for, she put on her coat and asked one of the other doctors to cover for her. _

_She would never see Tatsuha in the clinic again, but maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't ever have to._

"And then I went to see Mr. Yuki," she finished. Tohma almost pitied the woman; she looked completely worn out. Tohma himself had been subjected to the Uesugi temper and stubbornness countless times. Tatsuha was considerably milder than his other family members, but he was no exception.

"I have all the information I need," Tohma said as he made his way to the exit. He paused at the door for a moment. "Thank you, Dr. Soba, for your help." And then he was gone.

Dr. Soba gasped at his words. "Your welcome, Mr. Seguchi,'' she said to the empty room. "Your welcome." Tears filled her eyes. She had cried many times for the people she couldn't help, but, for once, she could cry for someone she had.

Kaori Soba collapsed in the middle of the floor and cried.

* * *

Yuki awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of the phone ringing. He broke out of Shuichi's nightly chokehold and answered the phone in the kitchen.

"This had better be you, Tohma," he growled into the receiver.

"Ah, yes, my apologies." Tohma chuckled softly. "I had no idea it was this late. I've been brainstorming, and I think I have a plan to help Tatsuha. However, I must warn you, it's a little extreme," he warned.

"Whatever, nothing else seems to have worked," Yuki sighed.

"Exactly. Outright confrontation has failed twice, so I think it's time we tried some subtler means." Tohma exhaled slowly. "I think we need to bring Tatsuha's lifestyle into question before we skip onto the attack."

"His lifestyle? What do you want to do? Ground him? Schedule an intervention?" Yuki doubted Tatsuha would cooperate with any form of authoritative approach.

"Something like that," Tohma replied. "I'll have Mika arrange for him to come to Tokyo next week. That should allow enough time for him to get over your little tête-à-tête, and some time for us to perfect our…," he paused to clear his throat, "plan."

"I still don't know what the fuck you're talking about," he muttered. Tohma laughed.

"Don't worry, I'll fill you in on the details in the morning. Have a nice sleep!" he hung up the phone. Yuki sighed and stumbled back into bed, but he knew it would be no use. He wasn't going to get anymore sleep, no matter how exhausted he was.

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Tohma finally stumbled home. He was completely drained from the day's events. The plan he had formed was foolproof, but executing it would be extremely stressful for both parties. He rolled into bed next to Mika, who didn't even stir. He sighed. No matter how exhausted he was, he knew he was not getting a wink of sleep that night.

* * *

Miles away, in a temple in Kyoto, Tatsuha slept on, completely oblivious to the plan that had been formed concerning the events of the previous night.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so Tohma was actually not a total bastard. I don't really think he is though. Well, okay, he is, but only to the people who get in his way. I didn't really know what the relationship between Tatsuha and Tohma would be like, since they have like none in the manga or anime, but I imagine it would be pretty positive. I mean, Tohma has no reason to not like Tatsuha, other than the Ryuichi thing, which I don't think he'd consider a threat anyways. To me, their relationship is friendly at best and indifferent at worst. In my opinion, he'd be one of the ones to help Tatsuha first, if not for his sake, but for Yuki's. Also, Tohma has some difficulty referring to the attack as rape for obvious reasons.

P.S. I noticed that I called the club Daze in the first chapter instead of Spin. My bad, I went back and fixed it and put in page breaks also. Just saying that, incase any of you noticed.

Reviewers: You guys are awesome, I just can't say how happy you all make me!!! **blows kisses and throws cookies** YOU ROCK MY SOCKS!!!!


	5. Ponder

A/N: I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I WAS GOING TO TAKE A WEEK OR SO BECAUSE IT WAS SPRING BREAK AND I'M SO SORRY!!!!!!!!!I was herding cows in the middle of nowhere and there's no Internet in the middle of nowhere!!!! (throws apology Home-Ec cookies out to everyone) And I know I haven't gotten a chance to reply to your reviews, but I will as soon as I post this!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. (Insert witty disclaimer joke here)

* * *

**Ponder – v**

**to consider something deeply and thoroughly; meditate**

**to weigh carefully in the mind; consider thoughtfully**

**To reflect or consider with thoroughness and** ** care**

* * *

Tatsuha awoke the next afternoon, with surprising ease. He'd slept a grand total of sixteen hours, and he'd never felt so rejuvenated in all his life. As he climbed out of bed, the first thing to register in his mind was the fact that he had slept in his clothes. Although he was quite used to doing so, being the resident Uesugi errand boy, he hated the feeling of waking up in used clothes. The second thing to register was the dull aching of his left cheek. His calmness came to a screeching halt as the events of the previous day came crashing back to him. He fell back on his mattress with a moan.

_Damn_.

He felt like such a jackass. His brother had always trusted and confided in him more than any other member of their family, and he'd repaid him by crossing the forbidden line. No, he'd stomped all over the forbidden line and then jumped back and forth over it and kicked sand on it. He'd apologize once his bruise healed a little. Apologizing to Eiri could be violent, and his beautiful face could only take so much abuse.

Stumbling over to the bathroom, Tatsuha looked into the mirror. He studied his reflection with a bleak stare. He looked like shit warmed over; his clothes were rumpled, wrinkled, and torn a little, his hair was disheveled and sticking up on one side, and there was a dark purple splotch covering the left side of his face. _Didn't hold back, did he?_ He thought with a wince, which only made his face hurt worse.

Tatsuha peeled off all his clothes and stepped into the shower. He turned the water up as hot as it would go and thoroughly scrubbed every inch of his body multiple times, determined to do away with all the remains of the previous day. When the water began to cool drastically, Tatsuha decided it was time to get out. Buddhist temples weren't known for their vast supplies of hot water.

Tatsuha slid out of the shower with a contented sigh. There was nothing like a hot, cleansing shower to start a new day. He paused as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His body was covered in bruises. His sides, back, and arms were riddled with big, purplish spots. They weren't round either. They had a distinctive shape. Five long, oval shaped marks joined together at a roundish mark.

They were handprints.

_Rough hands wrenching him around, shoving him up against a brick wall._

_White-hot pain._

_Laughter._

Tatsuha snapped out of his reverie with a shudder. He didn't think he'd be going back to Spin. He'd gone once, and now his life was spinning out of control. He went back into his room, threw on some clothes, and ran a comb through his hair. He was going to have to head back to Tokyo, again, and get his results from Dr. Soba.

It was time to get his life back in order.

* * *

Uesugi senior hung up the phone with a sigh. Mika's husband had called to request that Tatsuha come stay with them for a few days. After a little persuading on Tohma's part, he'd given in. he didn't need his youngest at the moment, and Tatsuha spent all of his spare time in Tokyo anyway. School wasn't an issue, since Tatsuha seldom attended even when he could, and Mr. Uesugi really couldn't have cared less.

It sounded terrible, but of all his children, Tatsuha was only one Uesugi senior never felt close to. He supposed it was because Tatsuha was so easy to ignore. He always did as he was told and never complained. When he did act out, he made sure to do it far away from his family's eyes to avoid any sort of conflict. Tatsuha hated conflict. That was a trait usually reserved for the middle child, but it seemed to have skipped down the line in the Uesugi family. Eiri thrived on conflict. Tatsuha was always the son to do as he was told and never expect anything in return.

But he was no Eiri.

He wasn't the good son.

Truth be told, Uesugi senior hadn't even wanted a third child. As soon as he had a son, he was happy. But Tatsuha had come as a surprise to his beloved wife, who had been declared barren after Eiri's birth. She'd called Tatsuha her 'miracle child'.

Six years later, she died.

Mr. Uesugi had been devastated. The love of his life was gone, and he was left alone with his temple and three children whom he barely knew. Mika was already eighteen and independent enough to deal with her grief alone, and Eiri possessed the same independence at age twelve. Tatsuha was six. He adored his mother like any other six-year-old boy, and thrived on her love and affection. He'd been almost unbearable to deal with after her death. He was always crying and in need of comfort. Mika and Eiri had both put aside their own grief to comfort him, but Mr. Uesugi couldn't do so for one simple reason.

Of all his children, only Tatsuha had inherited his mother's onyx hair and eyes. Of all his children, only Tatsuha served as a constant reminder of what he'd lost.

For that reason alone, Uesugi senior had never tried to get to know his youngest son. He'd married Mika off, sent Eiri to New York, and submerged himself in work, ignoring his youngest entirely. By the time his grief had subsided, it was too late. The damage was done.

Tatsuha was the calm son.

Tatsuha was the obedient son.

Tatsuha was the reliable son.

But Tatsuha was not, and would never be, the favorite son.

The sound of Tatsuha making his way to the door broke his train of thought_. Might as well tell him now, _he thought._ Who knows when he'll be back?_

"Tatsuha," he called, just as his youngest was snatching his keys. Tatsuha looked up with a surprised, yet somewhat irritated look.

"Yeah?" Tatsuha didn't have time for this. After successfully blocking the blood test out of his mind for over twenty-four hours, he was starting to feel anxious. He had to get to the clinic as soon as possible. He also had certain matters of _privacy_ to discuss with Dr. Soba.

"Mr. Seguchi called. He and Mika want you to come visit them next week for a few days. I told them you'd do it. You spend most of your time there anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem." Tatsuha blinked. Well, that certainly was random. What did Tohma want him visiting for? Mika he would understand, but Tohma? He didn't even know his brother-in-law knew he existed.

He would have thought more on the subject, but there were more pressing matters to attend to at the moment. With a nod and a 'sure, okay', he left the Uesugi home and mounted his bike. He pulled his iPod out of his jacket and studied it thoughtfully. Just a few days before, this device had seemingly ruled his life. Nittle Grasper. Ryuichi. All of that seemed so far way now. Why? It's not like he'd changed in any way. With a sigh, he rolled the headphones around the device and placed it back in his pocket. He didn't feel like listening to music.

He needed to think.

* * *

Tohma pressed the 'end' button on his cell phone as he finished speaking with Uesugi senior. It hadn't taken much to get him to agree to send his son out to Tokyo for a few days. All he had to do was assure him that the trip would not affect Tatsuha's duties as a monk.

_No, Mr. Uesugi_, he'd thought with a sneer. _Your son has just been gang-raped by four men. I'm sure that won't affect his temple duties in any way. He can deal with it on his own._

How little Uesugi senior cared for his children disgusted him. He'd only arranged his and Mika's marriage so he wouldn't have to take care of her anymore. It was the same with Eiri. He'd approved the trip to New York just to be relieved of his parental duties for a while.

Only, it was different with Tatsuha. Tatsuha had no connections, he knew no famous people. He was just a boy, and he was left alone with that neglectful bastard his whole life. Even now, Tatsuha did anything to get away from his home with his father. He went to concerts and clubs, drank, smoked, and got high just to get away from it. Just to get away from the sad, but painfully obvious truth that his father didn't care for him at all.

Of course, he wasn't really one to criticize. He'd never spoken up on Tatsuha's behalf before, even if he had wanted to at times.

_And to think, all it took was a tragedy to get people to notice, _Tohma thought, burying his head in his hands. He just hoped their plan would work. And he hoped Tatsuha would forgive them if it didn't. Or if it did, for that matter.

It was time to make the final, and most important call of all.

* * *

Tatsuha swerved past cars and trucks on the highway with practiced ease. Ignoring the loud honks and shouted obscenities, he sped off in the direction of the clinic. After three hours of anxious thinking, he was finally there. The ride to Tokyo had never felt so long.

Parking across the street, Tatsuha hopped off his motorcycle and stormed into the clinic. He strode right past the receptionist at the front desk and made his way to the lab. He opened the door and came face-to-face with the one and only Dr. Soba. She blinked as if she hardly recognized him and then a slightly pained expression crossed her features.

"Oh, hello, Tatsuha," she greeted quietly. She seemed nervous for some reason, but Tatsuha was too fired up to care.

"Don't you 'hello, Tatsuha' me! What are you thinking, telling my family about my personal business? Don't you know when to just give up? I said nothing happened, so nothing happened! Get over it!" he raged. Tatsuha forced himself to calm down. That wasn't why he'd come, dammit! He sighed and looked up at Dr. Soba, who looked slightly sick. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like such an ass. Just…do you have my results?"

Dr. Soba cast a piteous look at him, and Tatsuha panicked. "No," she finally replied. "I think there was an error in the previous one. I'm going to run another to make sure. I'll contact you sometime next week." Tatsuha fought the urge to moan. Another week of waiting. He'd be a nervous wreck by then, he was sure of it.

"Well, look, I'll be at my sisters, so I'll just come on over whenever," Tatsuha paused. "What went wrong exactly?"

"Oh, nothing to worry about," she replied. "Just a minor mix-up is all. The results should be back by Tuesday of next week. That's four days. Can you wait that long?"

"Yeah, sure," Tatsuha gave her a weak smile. _Four days. Four days. Four days. _He needed a drink.

"Well, I have a lot of work to catch up on, so I guess I'll see you then." Dr. Soba turned and walked away without another word, leaving Tatsuha baffled. Why was the whole world being so weird? He groaned and stalked back out the clinic and to his bike. Back to Kyoto. Again. His ass was going to be permanently flat at this rate.

The whole ride home, all Tatsuha could do was ponder to himself. Why was everybody going crazy? Why was his life so fucked up? When the hell would it all stop?

Little did he know, he'd be getting his answers sooner than he thought. In four days, to be precise.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you have it. Everyone is plotting and reflecting, and all Tatsuha can do is ride his bike and ponder WTF? Well, most of you have probably figured out the big plan. If you haven't, just keep reading. I promise, the updates will go back to being daily! You know what they say, there's nothing like a good scare to get your life in order. Oops, said too much!

PS Who knows when Tatsuha's mommy died? Or her or Uesugi senior's name for that matter. I wasn't sure and I couldn't find a straight answer anywhere, so I just worked it into the story as easily as possible. (I'm sorry if the constant Mr. Uesugi and Uesugi senior bothers you. When it comes to names, I'd rather be annoying than wrong)

(Pelts the audience with icky Home-Ec cookies) REVIEW PLEASE!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!


	6. Petrify

A/N: Okay, I thoroughly hated using Mr., so I'm going with honorifics from now on. I wanted to compare the English and Japanese titles, and Japanese won by a landslide. I'm sorry if the sudden switch irritates you, but I just HATE using 'Mr.' with a name like Uesugi, and most of my readers did as well. I might go back and change the other chapters to match, but don't count on it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation. Boo Hoo.

* * *

**Petrify – v**

**to benumb or paralyze with astonishment, horror, or other strong emotion**

**immobilize, dumbfound, daze**

**to make very frightened; to terrify**

* * *

Four days later, Tatsuha was trying valiantly to keep his composure about the blood test results…

"Son of a bitch! What stupid-ass motherfucker would put a goddamn fucking hanger in the middle of the fucking floor!? Jeez! Goddamn piece of shit!"

…and failing miserably.

He still had a few hours to go, and Tatsuha felt as if all the muscles in his body were being twisted into cute little origami figures. He was currently attempting to relieve his anxiety by belting out his entire repertoire of obscenities at a stray clothes hanger lying in the middle of his bedroom floor. After that activity proved worthless, he returned to his previous task of packing for his little 'visit' to Tokyo,

Needless to say, he was not looking forward to sitting through the three-hour drive to Mika's house. Tatsuha made a mental note that once this whole ordeal was over, he'd stop spending so much time in Tokyo. Kyoto was boring as hell, but Tokyo was also quickly losing its appeal.

Tatsuha was not looking forward to visiting his sister. Knowing Mika, she'd try and drag both him and Eiri out to dinner at some expensive restaurant so they could 'bond'. She didn't know about his and Eiri's little altercation. It had been three days ago, and he still hadn't apologized. He really didn't want to deal with both waiting for the test results _and_ his family. There was only so much stress a guy could take!

"Tatsuha! Aren't you packed yet? Hurry up or you'll be late. I don't want your sister worrying over you."

_Love you too, Pops, _Tatsuha thought with a sneer. Zipping up his backpack, he grabbed the keys to his motorcycle and headed for the door. He barked out a short farewell that went completely unnoticed and set out for Tokyo. He didn't even notice that he'd forgotten his iPod, or that he hadn't listened to any music at all in nearly a week, for that matter.

* * *

Yuki and Shuichi arrived at Tohma's house promptly at three o'clock. Yuki had wanted to leave the brat at home, but Tohma had insisted that he be present. While Tohma didn't care for Shuichi at all, he knew that if their plan went straight to hell, it would be best to have someone a little more well versed in sensitivity present.

"Ah, Yuki-san, Shindou-san! Please, come in!" Tohma greeted them both with his usual trademark smile. If he was nervous at all about the plan, he didn't show it.

"Is he here yet?" Yuki asked immediately, confusing Shuichi, who still had no idea why they were there in the first place. Confusion quickly evolved to hysteria, and Shuichi began to wail.

" 'He'? Who's 'He'? Is he your secret lover? Are you cheating on me? You are, aren't you? I knew it! You're silence says it all! You're leaving me for someone else! And he's probably cuter than me, too! Yuki! How could you do this to me after all we've been through!" Shuichi sobbed. Yuki let out a long-suffering sigh and lightly hit Shuichi in the back of the head.

" 'He' is Tatsuha, you moron," Yuki told him. "We're here to scare some smart into him."

Shuichi looked even more confused, but chose not to say anything. He had learned early on not to get involved in Uesugi drama. He hadn't expected Tatsuha to be the cause of all the drama, though. Sure, he was a tad perverted and obsessive, but he had a good heart. He was Yuki's best friend, a fact observed only by Shuichi, and he couldn't understand why Yuki seemed to be mad at him. Tohma began to speak as he led them into the living room of the Seguchi mansion.

"Tatsuha should be here any moment. Mika won't be joining us. She doesn't know of our…plans."

Yuki snorted. Of course she wasn't aware. She'd have a fit if she knew what they were going to put the youngest Uesugi through. But they didn't have tome to worry about that. Tatsuha needed serious help, and he was going to get it.

Whether he liked it or not.

* * *

Tatsuha hopped off his motorcycle and stretched his legs with a contented sigh. He was thankful that most of his bruises had healed a little bit, and he was no longer as sore as the days before. He checked his cell phone for any missed calls, but there were none. He closed his eyes and tried to quell his rising anxiety. He'd had tests run before, and he knew that the worst thing one could do was panic. Panicking didn't help at all; all it did was create unnecessary stress.

After he'd composed himself as best he could, Tatsuha made his way to the doors of the Seguchi household and rang the doorbell. He was shocked when the door swung open almost immediately, revealing a smiling Tohma.

"Why, hello Tatsuha-kun! Come on in, we've been expecting you!" As his brother-in-law spoke, Tatsuha began to feel nervous. He didn't know much about Tohma, but even he could tell that there was something _off_ about the producer's smile.

Tohma wasted no time in ushering him into the large house. Tatsuha was feeling more than a little overwhelmed, but decided to just keep his mouth shut and smile. The whole world was going crazy, but he could deal with that after he got his test results back.

Tatsuha didn't even realize Tohma had been speaking until they halted in the middle of the spacious living room. A flash of blond caught his eye, and Tatsuha froze.

"Aniki," he breathed. "Why are you- "

"Yuki-san and Shindou-san dropped by a few minutes ago for a visit," Tohma smoothly interrupted. Tatsuha threw him a baffled look. Eiri _and_ Shuichi visiting _Tohma_? Of their own volition? Something had to be seriously wrong. Shuichi wasn't even being loud! Before he could voice his confusion, Tohma spoke up again.

"Well, Tatsuha-kun, you must be hungry. Why don't we all go into the dining room for an early dinner?" Yuki and Shuichi both seemed to like the suggestion because they rose almost simultaneously and headed into dining room side-by-side. Tatsuha avoided his brother's gaze. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't think he could deal with the additional stress at the moment.

_As soon as I get the results. As soon as I get the results_. Tatsuha repeated to himself over and over again. That phrase had become his mantra over the past week. He'd apologize to Yuki when he got the results. He'd straighten things out with Dr. Soba when he got the results. He'd find out why everyone was acting so weird when he got the test results.

But first he needed those fucking test results!

The afternoon passed into evening in a daze for Tatsuha. When the food was served, he barely ate anything and avoided eye contact. The others didn't seem to notice, in fact they seemed to be deliberately ignoring Tatsuha.

The awkward dinner was interrupted by a shrill beeping noise coming from Tatsuha's jacket pocket. With a muttered apology, Tatsuha excused himself and was out in the hallway before the phone could ring a second time. Tatsuha drew in a shuddering breath and flipped open his phone.

"Yeah?" he answered, his voice shaking slightly. _Please be her. Please be her. Please be her._

"Tatsuha." It was her. Dr. Soba. She had the results. She knew. It would all be over soon. She knew. "I have the results. I…Are you sitting down?" Tatsuha's blood ran cold.

_No_.

_Please no._

"What is it? What do I have?" Tatsuha felt sick. Suddenly he felt sore again. Every fading bruise on his body was aching. He heard Dr. Soba sigh on the other line.

"Tatsuha," she began. "I don't know how to tell you this, but you…Tatsuha, you have…"

"What?!" Tatsuha screamed, not caring if the others heard him in the next room. "What the fuck do I have?! Just say it, dammit!"

"Tatsuha, you have HIV."

The phone clattered to the floor.

_No._

_Not HIV. Not me. It was one night. One fucking night. It's a mistake. It has to be. Please, no._

Tatsuha dashed into the bathroom across the hall and emptied the meager contents of his stomach into the toilet. When he finished, he remained hunched over the seat. He was hyperventilating. Tears ran unchecked down his face. He froze when he heard a knock on the door.

"Tatsuha." It was Tohma. "Is everything all right?"

He had to tell them. He couldn't keep it a secret. He would need medication. He would need money for medication.

_How can this be happening? _

"I'm fine," he chocked out. "I'll be out in a minute." He took in a deep breath and stood up shakily. He wiped his face and rinsed his mouth out with water. He examined his reflection wearily. He looked the same as he had then, after-

After…

Tatsuha inhaled sharply and slapped his cheeks to give himself some more color. He had to buck up. He could take this. It wasn't like HIV was a death sentence anymore. People with HIV could live full lives if medicated properly. He'd be fine; he had to be.

Tatsuha staggered back into the dining room. All eyes locked on him. He nearly threw up again, but managed to find his way to his seat. Suddenly, Yuki spoke up.

"So, Tatsuha, who was that on the phone?" he inquired casually. "One of your friends from Spin?" Tatsuha froze.

"Spin?" Tohma asked. "Isn't that the new club downtown? I heard that place has quite the reputation. What were you doing there, Tatsuha?"

_Stop._

"Oh, just fucking a bunch of strangers," Yuki replied in the same tone.

_Please._

"Really, well they must have been pretty attractive to ensnare Tatsuha-kun," Tohma continued calmly. Tatsuha began to shake.

_No._

"I'll bet," Yuki agreed. "He had to get a blood test afterwards."

_Why are you doing this?_

"Well, I'm glad it was at least consensual. I'm sure they would have told him if they had anything serious."

_It's not…_

"Yeah, but apparently things got rough," Yuki added as an afterthought.

It's not my… 

"Well, I'm sure Tatsuha-kun knows what the limit is," Tohma replied. "Even he must know when to say 'no'."

_It's not my fault!_

_It's not my fault!_

_It's not my fault!_

"It's not my fault!" Tatsuha screamed, standing up sharply. "I didn't want them to do it, but I couldn't say no! And now I have HIV, but it's not my fault! It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"

Tatsuha ran out of the house and mounted his motorcycle. He drove off in a daze. His life was ruined. But it wasn't his fault!

* * *

Tohma leaned back with a sigh. "You think we overdid it?"

"Yeah," Yuki answered. " But, at least we did something."

* * *

Tatsuha drove faster and faster. His life was ruined. Over. He couldn't stop.

And neither could the truck coming towards him.

A/N: DUNDUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	7. Regret

A/N: Oh...My...God!!!! I am so sorry this took so long! I can explain, I promise! Please don't hate me!!!! First, my computer crashed and it took weeks to get it fixed. I ended up losing all my files, including my stories, and I couldn't access my account on any other computer to make a note saying the story would be delayed! I am so so so so SORRY to you all. But, the good news is I've hand written all the remaining chapters of the story, and it should be finished within a week!

Again, I'm so sorry to you all! I hope you don't hate me for this!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

* * *

**Regret - v.**

**to feel sorrow or remorse **

**a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction**

**A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different**

* * *

Tatsuha groaned as he begain to regain conciousness. He thought he heard voices, but they sounded so far away. As his mind began to grow more aware of his surroundings, he focused all his meager energy on the daunting task of opening his eyes. When he finally succeeded, he almost blacked out from shock. He was in a bright, white room. His head felt like it had been split open, and his whole body ached.

_Where am I? _Tatsuha tried to fight the searing pain in his head long enough to figure out where he was and what had happened...

_"Spin?"_

_"What were you doing there, Tatsuha?"_

"_Oh, just fucking a bunch of strangers," _

_"Tatsuha, you have HIV."_

_"Well, I'm glad it was at least consensual."_

_"Even he must know when to say 'no'."_

"_It's not my fault!" _

Tatsuha gasped. The flashes of the previous day--week, month, hour?-- almost caused him to black out. He would've screamed or cried if he could have, but he didn't have the strength. He was tired, so tired. So much had happened in so little time. He should've been calling for help, asking questions, demanding answers, but he was just so exhausted. He closed his eyes against the blinding light and let the sweet lull of unconciousmess take him over.

_What am I gonna do?_

* * *

Shuichi wiped his eyes as he watched Yuki pace anxiously in the hospital waiting room. His lover hadn't said a word since they had gotten the call about Tatsuha's accident. It had only been a few hours since their fiasco of a plan when Uesugi-san had called, demanding to know why the police were calling about Tatsuha's motorcycle being hit by a truck. Shuichi would never forget the expression on his lover's face when he heard what their plan had caused. He'd always remember the devastated, shocked look that had crossed Yuki's normally stoic, handsome face, no matter how brief the look had been.

He resisted the urge to burst into tears and cling to his partner for dear life. He knew clinging to Yuki would give neither of them any comfort, no matter how much he wished it would. Tatsuha had been in the ICU for hours, and the doctors had given them very little information on his condition. All they knew was that Tatsuha had been hit by a truck at an intersection and had flown off his motorcycle on impact. He had been admitted to the ICU at 10:31 p.m.. It was currently 2:17 a.m..

Shuichi stifled a sob as Yuki collapsed in a chair across from him. Tohma was in the hall, harassing the nursing staff and trying to console Mika on his cell phone. He felt so useless. All he could do was sit there, just like before. When Yuki and Tohma had been torturing Tatsuha, all he could do was sit there, completely useless. He should've done something, anything, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up.

_After all the times Tatsuha's helped you out, you couldn't even lift a finger for him! You worthless, stupid, fucking pansy! _For all Tatsuha's bad habits and perversions, he was the only one who had supported his and Yuki's relationship from the start. He didn't ever condemn it as wrong or sick; he'd been perfectly supportive. In fact, Shuichi was more than certain that if it hadn't been for Tatsuha, he and Yuki wouldn't have lasted.

Shuichi finally lost all self-control and broke down. Across the room, Yuki rose from his seat and went into the hall of the ICU.

* * *

Tohma cursed softly as he hung up his cell phone. Mika had been hysterical upon hearing the news of Tatusha's condition, and had announced that she would be there as soon as possible. He had no idea how he was going to explain this to his wife, but forced himslef not to think about it. _One bridge at a time, Seguchi. One bridge at a time._

In all his years of plotting and formulating plans, Tohma had never had one fail as miserably as this one. He'd never expected Tatsuha to run away, and he'd certainly never anticipated him winding up hospitalized. Maybe he was losing his touch.

Tohma debated whether or not to call Uesugi-san. He quickly decided against it. That man could have cared less about his youngest son. When he'd first called to inform them of the accident, he'd seemed more upset about being awoken in the middle of the night than about the welfare of his child. He hadn't even seemed interested in the fact that Tatsuha was in intensive care, and had been for hours.

He caught sight of Yuki wandering into the hall of the ICU. He rushed over to him and attempted to offer a few words of comfort, but was cut off by the appearance of the intensevist. The young doctor bowed politely and began to inform them of Tatsuha's condition.

"Well, he's not doing to well, but he should recover," he began. "He sustained a few mild fractures, and his left arm is broken in two places. However, what we're most concerned about are his lungs and head. One of his ribs almost punctured the lung on impact, and he has a severe concussion. We won't know the extent of the damage to his brain until he wakes up."

"When can we see him?" Yuki asked, the first words he had spoken in hours.

"Not for awhile," the doctor replied regretfully. "He still needs to spend a little time in the ICU, but your more than welcome to see him when he's out."

"Thank you, doctor," Tohma nodded to the man, dismissing him indefinitely.

So Tatsuha would be alright. It would take awhile for his wounds to heal, but Tohma doubted those were the wounds they should be concerned with. Yuki retreated back into the waiting room to Shuichi.

"He's gonna be okay," he informed his distraught lover. "The doctor just told us."

Shuichi stared at the two blondes. No one said a word. They all knew it would be a long time before Tatsuha would ever be 'okay' again. And for the moment, all they could do was sit there and regret the various parts they played in Tatsuha's downfall.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so its a little short, but I thought I needed to get Shuichi in here and give some insight on him. It seems like he's just kinda been there the whole story and I wanted to give a view of the story through his eyes before I move on to the next part.

Anyhoo, if you don't hate me, REVIEW!!!!

Much love!  
Tenka-chan

PS I haven't loaded Office yet, so please forgive any rookie mistakes that I missed!


	8. Elucidate

A/N: Okay, I think I oughta set a few things straight. I noticed a few people had trouble with the concept of Tatsuha surviving a head-on collision with a truck. To clarify, I did not mean an eighteen, sixteen whatever big rig. I meant a regular, rickety old pickup. I realize why there would be misconceptions about that, since there aren't a lot of pick-ups in Japan, and that was a **HUGE** mistake on my part. (I'm from the Deep South; trucks are all we have here!) I realize even then there are huge odds against Tatsuha surviving a collision with any kind of vehicle, since he was on a motorcycle. However, I will address that in this chapter and I hope I didn't throw you guys off too mcuh. I'll try to be more specific in the future.

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

* * *

**elucidate - v.**

**to make lucid or clear; throw light upon**

**to provide clarification**

**explain**

* * *

After a few more hours of anxious waiting and thumb-twiddling, Tohma and Yuki, being family, were allowed to visit Tatsuha for a short time. Since he was still in intensive care, only one person could be allowed in at a time. No one even bothered to discuss which of the two it would be. Yuki slipped quietly into the room Tatsuha had been placed in while Tohma strode down the hall to nurses' desk.

He was met with a disheveled old man who looked like he'd been thrown into something he couldn't seem to handle. Tohma could empathize. One of the nurses had identified him as the man who had collided with Tatsuha. Tohma was more than slightly puzzled as to why the old man was still in the hospital after the police had taken his statement a long time ago.He didn't seem to be injured in any way. Observing the man's ragged, thread-bare clothes and weary, sagging posture, Tohma began to feel relieved. At first he had been worried, but it seemed that covering up this little fiasco wouldn't take near as much time and effort as he thought it would. He put on his cheesiest shit-eating smile as he approached the old man.

"Hello, my name is Tohma Seguchi. I'm a realtive of Tatsuha, the boy on the motorcycle," he greeted cheerfully. "I understand you were the one to notify the ambulance. Thank you for that." The old man cleared his throat and bowed slightly.

"It was no trouble," the he replied. "I swear he just came out of nowhere! I'm just glad he hit the grass instead of the road after the collision. Must've flown ten feet! It's a miracle his brains weren't splattered all over the place. Kids just don't think about what can happen on those death traps." The old man stopped his rant and flushed, remembering who he was talking to. Tomha smiled reassuringly.

"I know. We all warned him against buying that thing, but he wouldn't listen. If you don't mind me asking though, why are you still here? You weren't injured in the collision as well, were you?" he asked innocently.

"Oh, no! I'm fine, my truck's the only thing that's hurt. You see, I was bringin' some furniture that I was workin' on back to my daughter's house in the city, since I live a ways out. Crash didn't hurt 'em, thank gods. I waited 'til nighttime so's I could avoid any insane drivers," the man cleared his throat, flushing again. "No one was around, so I figured my daughter's furniture could wait. Kid was out cold an' I thought for sure he was dead, but apparently lady luck was lookin' out for him. He seemed so young just lyin' there, even with his helmet on. I couldn't just leave 'im there. I even rode in the ambulance with 'im, even though I wasn't hurt, but those para-whatevers didn't need to know that," the man's face lit up as he realized something. "Oh, I'm sorry, here I am rambling and I haven't even introduced my self yet. Name's Kage Wakamura." The old man bowed again. Tohma bowed back politely.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Wakamura-san. And I'd like to thank you again for all you've done for Tatsuha." Tohma flipped out his trusty checkbook and snagged a pen off the nurses' desk. Wakamura-san's eyes widend and sharply shook his head.

"No, no! That's not necessary at all! I was just doing the right thing, and with all due respect sir, I like to earn my money. If you're worried about a lawsuit or whatever, relax. I'm not interested in getting money off misfortune. As long as the insurance company fixes my truck, I'm happy." Wakamura-san nodded firmly. Tohma appeared nonchalant, but inwardly, he was very impressed. The old man was sharper than he looked. He slipped his checkbook back into his pocket.

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Wakamura-san. If you'll excuse me, I have to get back. It was lovely to meet you."

"Sure, sure. I guess I can call my daughter to come get me. I don't even know why I stayed so long. I guess I just wanted to make sure the kid was okay. " The old man smiled sheepishly. Tohma cast the man another final smile as well before turning and walking away. Well, there was one potential disaster avoided. Things certainly weren't getting better, but at least they weren't getting any worse.

* * *

Yuki's fingers itched for a cigarette as he entered Tatsuha's room. They itched even more when he first saw his brother. He didn't even recognize him at first, but there were only two patients in the room and one of them was fat and bald, so it wasn't that difficult. He observed his brother with cold, amber eyes. His whole head was bandaged carefully and his left arm was in a cast from the top of his arm down to his fingertips. The barrel shape of his little brother's chest suggested that his ribs were heavily wrapped underneath the pale blue hospital gown. Every inch of skin that wasn't wrapped or bandaged was covered in dark bruises and the left side of his face looked the worst of all. He was connected to various beeping machines and contraptions that Yuki had never even seen before. He really wanted a cigarette.

After mentally preparing himself for the inevitable heart-to-heart with his brother, Yuki finally opened his mouth to speak, but paused upon further inspection of the sleeping teenager. The little bastard was asleep! After all that stress and mental anguish, his stupid, inconsiderate brother couldn't even bother to stay awake to hear what he had to say? The fact that Tatsuha had a severe concussion, various broken bones, and was on nearly every type of pain medication known to man was apparently beside the point.

"Hey!" he barked. "Wake up, you moron, I'm talkin' to you!" Tatsuha eyes twitched, but didn't open. Yuki fumed, but stayed silent. He leaned against the foot of the bed and waited for Tatsuha to wake up. A few minutes later, Tatsuha's eyes began to flutter again. A weak moan passed his lips as his eyes began to ease their way open.Yuki waited patiently, in no hurry to face an awake and aware Tatsuha. When the injured young man finally became aware of his surroundings, his eyes wandered across the room for a moment. Then, they settled on Yuki.

"A-aniki?" Tatsuha choked out, voice raw and low. "Wha' happen'd? Wha's goin' on?" He coughed, cleared his throat, and said in a much clearer voice, "Where am I?"

"The hospital," Yuki responded dryly. "You crashed that damn bike like we all said you would from the day you got it. They say you'll be okay, but your bike won't. Sorry." Tatsuha groaned but didn't seem to care much about his precious bike. It was amazing to see how mcuh his priorities seemed to have changed over the past few days. "Oh," Yuki added. "It's probably best if I say this as soon as possible. You don't have HIV." Tatsuha's eyes widened and his jaw went slack.

"You--but, how--how did you even know about that?" he gasped. Yuki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt and intense migraine coming on. He stared intently at his brother. Tatsuha stared right back.

"On a scale of one to ten: How mad would you be if I told you that you'd just been Punk'd?" Tatsuha frowned; apparently the drugs had fogged his mind up. Yuki sighed. "We lied, okay? We set you up. We got the doctor to call you and feed you all that bullshit about having HIV. You're clean, totally disease free." Tatsuha's eyes widened even more. His jaw opened and closed repeatedly for a few moments beofre he finally spoke.

"You...what!" Tatsuha screamed. He groaned as a sharp pain snaked it's way across his head. _Okay, _he thought. _Yelling bad. _When the pain in his head lessened to a dull ache, he cast a venemous glare at his brother. In a softer, but no less fiercer voice, he said, "You lied? About me having fucking H-I-V? Why? Just 'cause I wouldn't admit that I was attacked? What kind of sick bastard are you?"

"The kind that doesn't like hearing 'no'," Yuki replied dully. "If you'd have just admitted what happened from the start, we wouldn't have had to do it." Tatsuha flushed angrily, the bruises blending and turning his face a deep purple.

"You're gonna stand there and blame this on me, you motherfucker? You told me I had HIV! You and that ass-kissing fucker Tohma told me I had HIV and you're gonna put the blame on me? What the hell is wrong with you, asshole?" Tatsuha's voice broke off as the pain in his head flared up again. He was angrier than he'd ever been in his life, but he also couldn't help but feel relieved. "Why?" he gasped, fighting tears. "Why would you do something like that?" Yuki closed his eyes. _Time to get serious._

"Because I couldn't let it happen again," he said firmly. "It happened to you, it happened to Shuichi, it happened to me. Hell, we could all start a fucking charity together. But I knew that if you didn't accept that it had happened, that you were raped, then you would let it happen to you again. And it would go on like that until you did accept it. You had to learn that there is a distinct line between 'rough' and rape. I couldn't stop it from happening to you the first time, Tatsuha, but I'll be damned if I ever let it happen again." Yuki turned away, telling himself he wasn't blushing, it was just really hot. He blamed it on the machines. Tatsuha blinked.

"I think writing all that sap and smut's finally gotten to you," Tatsuha said incredulously. Smiling a little, he continued, "But, I guess that's better than your normal don't-give-a-shit attitude." Yuki glared at his little brother.

"Watch it. Just because you're practically snapped in half doesn't mean I can't still kick your pansy ass," he growled. Tatsuha laughed.

"Ooh, I'm so scared I'm shaking in my cast!" Tatsuha sighed and closed his eyes, feeling mentally, phsically, and emotionally drained. "Is Mika here?" he asked.

"No. Tohma convinced her not to come until morning, which means she'll be here at the butt-crack of dawn. Shuichi and Tohma are here, though," Yuki paused and silence reigned for the next few seconds. "Shuichi's sorry and Tohma feels like shit," he finished, looking away. Tatsuha smiled softly.

"Tell them I forgive them," he whispered. Yuki nodded, still not looking at his brother. Neither brother said a word; neither brother needed to. After the nurse came in to request that Yuki let Tatsuha rest, he still didn't look at his brother as he exited the room. Despite how dysfunctional their relationship was, he and Tatsuha were still brothers.

And, between brothers, there are some things that just don't need to be explained.

* * *

A/N: ANGSTY UESUGI FLUFF!!!!!YAY!!!!! Oh, and the inspiration for Wakamura-san came from a man who lives in my town. He actually did ride with a man who hit his truck in an ambulance and stayed with him until his family got there. He's sweet and wonderful and living proof that there are still good people in this world. Also, I hope the scenario of the crash isn't too redneck to be believable. As I've said, where I live, no one doesn't drive a truck or a tractor or some combination of the two.

Oh, and there's gonna be police and Dr. Soba in the next chapter! Yay!

Please review!

Much Love!

Tenka-chan


	9. Impart

A/N: Woo! Mika comes in. I actually admire her character a lot. She is the epitome of femimine strength. She is calm, but strong. Protective, but accepting. She is just a very good character who I think doesn't get enough attention. Oh, and Dr. Soba lovers, please don't hate me for this chapter.

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

* * *

**Impart - v**

**to make known; tell; relate; disclose**

**to give; bestow; communicate**

**To pass on; transmit**

* * *

"What the hell did you bastards do to my brother?" Mika screamed. Hair frazzled, clothes wrinkled, and not an ounce of make-up on her face, Mika Seguchi was not in a state to be messed with. She'd been woken up in the middle of the night by her husband telling her that her youngest brother was in the hospital, and that her other brother and his lover were already there as well. After being manipulated into waiting until morning to come to the hospital, Mika was in no mood for her husband's false miles and cheap words. Her brother was hurt. She wanted an explanation; she _deserved_ an explanation.

Mika had always prided herself on being the best at three things: being a daughter, being a sister, and being a wife. Ever since her beloved mother's death, she had done everything she could to make things easier on her family. Instead of hanging out with her friends after school and on weekends, she would always come straight home to look after her brothers and the house. She agreed to the arranged marriage set up between Tohma's family and her father with admirable grace and maturity, and never once complained about her father's horrible habits of neglecting his children, particularly his youngest son.

She had always done everything in her power to please the men in her life, only to be repaid with indifference and deceit. She had never minded the injustice of this arrangement before, but at that moment, when she saw her dear, sweet little brother lying unresponsive in the hospital bed, she began to resent all the men in her life.

Tohma, for being a lying, manipulative bastard,

Yuki, for becoming a cruel, bitter recluse,

Tatsuha, for never trusting her for help,

and

her father, for causing it all.

"I asked you a question!" she screeched, glaring through hot, bitter tears at the three men across the room. "What happened to Tatsuha? Why is he here? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Mikarin," Tohma began, lifting his hands in a placating gesture. "It's a long story, maybe you should sit down-" Mika cut him off.

"Don't you tell me to sit down! My brother is hurt and I'm the last to know! I'm his sister, I should be the first to know if anything happens to him!"

"Mika, listen," Tohma fumbled for the right words, something that normally didn't happen to him. "Tatsuha was...he...-"

"Tatsuha was raped by a group of guys a few days ago," Yuki cut in. "He was at some club and they jumped him on his way out. He didn't want to admit that it had happened, so we invited him to Kyoto to try and trick him into thinking he had HIV so he'd admit what had happened to him, but it didn't work like we thought it would and he stormed off and hit some old man driving off."

Silence.

Then, the sound of Mika Seguchi's body hitting the floor in a dead faint.

"...Well, that went well," Tatsuha spoke up from his place on the bed. The three other concious heads in the room snapped towards him. Tatsuha blinked. "What?"

"You were awake the whole time?" Shuichi asked loudly. Tasuha blinked again.

"Yeah..." he answered slowly.

"Well, why didn't you say something?" Yuki glared accusingly.

"Well, I thought you all were handling it so magnificently that you didn't need my help."

* * *

By the time Mika regained conciousness, she had been moved to a vacant bed beside Tatsuha. It seemed that Tohma, Yuki, and Shuichi had long since fled to the waiting room. She sat up with a long sigh and observed her sleeping brother's face. He looked so innocent, so peaceful, so...

_Wait._

"Tatsuha, open your eyes. I know you're not asleep," she barked. Tatsuha opened his eyes with a cheesy grin and waved at his sister with the hand that wasn't wrapped in a cast.

"Hey, Mikarin," he greeted. "Aren't the beds here really comfy? The pillows are kinda hard, though. Oh, that remote to your right, you can use that to move the bed, and-"

"Tatsuha," Mika cut him off. "What happened?" Tatsuha cast her a confused look.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Mika's eyes softened.

"I mean, why didn't you say anything? What happened to you, you know it wasn't your fault, so why, Tatsuha, why?" Mika stopped as her voice broke.

"Why what, Aneki?" Tatsuha asked, feeling a sharp prickling in the back of his eyes.

"Why didn't you come to me for help?" she sobbed. Tatsuha lowered his gaze. He hated seeing his sister cry. He hated being the one to make his sister cry more.

"It was all happening so fast," he whispered. "I couldn't- I couldn't stop to think. It was all so overwhelming and I just didn't know who to talk to, or what to do. And, I kept trying to tell myself that nothing happened, that it was just, you know, sex, but I couldn't stop from feeling like I was...I don't know, Aneki, I just don't know!" Tatsuha broke off, sobbing. _Damn_, he thought. _Trust Mika to guilt me into tears. _Mika got off the bed and knelt at her injured brother's side. She took his hand and smiled softly.

"It's okay, Tatsuha," she whispered. "It'll all be okay. We'll get past this. I'll help you. But don't worry, I promise those three idiots won't be helping you again if I have anything to do with it."

As Mika exited the room, Tatsuha suddenly felt very frightened for the others. He also felt very thankful that they were all in a hospital.

* * *

Tohma sneezed as he walked into a very familiar clinic. He flet slightly guilty about leaving the others with a raging Mika, but it couldn't be helped. He had more pressing matters to attend to. He walked past the front desk of the clinic without permission for the second time in less than a week and strode into Dr. Soba's office. He was met with the sight of a disheveled Dr. Soba and a mountain of cardboard boxes.

"Are you going somewhere?" Tohma asked, smiling as Dr. Soba jumped at the sight of him. She smiled back nervously.

"No, no. Actually, I've been..let go," she replied sheepishly. Tohma blinked; the woman certainly didn't seem to broken up about being fired. "The head of the clinic caught sight of a certain surveillance tape, and well..." Tohma's eyes widened as realization suddenly dawned on him.

"Oh, dear! You weren't fired for showing me Tatsuha's file, were you?" Tohma didn't know why he cared so much, but this woman had helped him and Tatsuha. "I'm so sorry, I can talk to the head of the clinic. I'm sure I can persuade him to-"

"No, no," Dr. Soba cut him off. "That's not necessary. It was going to happen sooner or later anyways. I broke too many rules, stepped on too many toes. As a doctor, I was more concerned with making sure my patients got help than if they had insurance or if their records were confidential. Silly me. Anyways, there will be hearing over my license in about a week, and well, I think I'll be fine. I have some money saved up, and a few back-up plans, so..."

"You don't seem to regret it," Tohma observed. She smiled softly again.

"I regret a lot of things, Mr. Seguchi," she said. "But, I never regret helping someone who needs it, especially someone like Tatsuha. Although, I suppose I do regret having to make that little phone call for you, even if it technically did help Tatsuha. Speaking of which, how is he?"

"Oh, he's fine," Tohma smiled. "Pretty banged up, but he should be fine with time." Dr. Soba nodded.

"I'm sure he will be," she said, turning back to her boxes. Tohma bowed politely and exited the bare office silently. After he left, Dr. Soba turned back around and observed what was once her office with sad eyes. As hard as it was to leave, she knew she had done the right thing.

And, at the hearing over her license the next week, she calmly stated that, if given the chance to go back to that moment in time, she would've gladly done the same thing again without the slightest bit of hesitation.

* * *

After a few more days of wonderful pain medication and comfortable beds, Tatsuha awoke to the presence of his sister, brother, brother-in-law, and two police officers. One of the police officers walked over to him while the other flipped out a notepad and a pen.

"Tatsuha Uesugi?" the police officer asked. Tatsuha nodded. "I understand you've been the victim of a rape?" Closing his eyes, Tatsuha nodded silently.

"Yes," he replied clearly, having already rehearsed what he was going to say. The police officer with the notepad spoke up.

"Do you think you could tell us what happened?" he asked. Tatsuha nodded again.

"I'll tell you everything."

And he did.

* * *

A/N: Okay, the end! Not really, but this is the last chapter besides the epilogue, which should be up tomorrow. I'm really sad that this story is coming to an end, but I'm glad that I had a chance to post it and have you all offer up your comments and criticism. Two people in particular that I would like to recognize are Vindalootoo and Linker27. While you probably don't feel like you did anything, you have no idea how much I appreciate your encouraging comments. You rock my socks!

Much Love!

Tenka-chan


	10. Resolve

A/N: Well, here it is. The finale to Consent. I feel a little bad because I did rush the plot a little near the end, (and a few of my readers caught onto this), and that irks me beacuse I am a plot junkie. Frankly, it was because I was too afraid of making the characters too OOC by delving any deeper into the Uesugi family dynamic, which is extremely difficult to figure out. Uesugi-san may seem OOC, but I don't count him, since we see little enough of him that his character is open to speculation.However, for a first story, I think I did fairly well, and yes, there most definitely **will be **a sequel soon and it **will be **Ryuichi/Tatsuha. Also, this epilogue takes place a good few months after the story itself.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

* * *

**Epilogue **

**Resolve - v**

**to settle, determine, or state formally in a vote or resolution**

**to deal with conclusively**

**to clear away or dispel **

* * *

Tatsuha yawned as Tohma's car pulled up to the front of the esteemed Uesugi Temple. Seeing his home in Kyoto felt extremely odd for some reason. He'd been in the hospital for a couple of weeks, and had stayed with Mika and Tohma in Tokyo for awhile upon his sister's _request_. He'd been through a lot the past few months. He'd been gang-raped, put through hell to admit that he'd been gang-raped, severely injured in a car accident, put through more hell while the police investigated his attack, an investigation that was currnetly on-going, and forced to spend quality time with a worried Mika. Needless to say, he wanted to go back to Kyoto. Sweet, quiet, dull Kyoto, where nothing ever appeared to change. He hadn't seen his home in months, so why did it seem to look exactly the same? His therapist later told him that he'd probably been expecting all the physical aspects of his life to change like the mental and emotional aspects had. 

That's right, Tatsuha Uesugi was seeing a therapist. Twice a week. Mika had made it very clear that she would not have another Yuki in the family, no matter what the cost. Tatsuha had just recently been referred to another psychiatrist in Kyoto to make transportation a lot less complicated, and he was told he would be meeting the man fairly soon.

Arm still in a cast, but otherwise physically healed, Tatsuha exited the vehicle and made his way to the temple entrance. Mika followed behind him silently, carrying Tatsuha's overnight bag for him despite his many protests. His father greeted them at the door, standing stern, stiff, and stoic. Not a word was spoken. It was well-known that the Uesugi family only had two volumes: completely silent and unbearably loud. The former of the two seemed to be reigning over the Uesugi household at that moment, until Uesugi-san finally spoke up.

"You're back," he said. "Good."

And then, he turned and walked away.

After months of not seeing or speaking to his youngest son, he turned and walked away.

After his son had been gang-raped, injured, and hospitalized, he turned and walked away.

Tatsuha stared at his father's retreating back while Mika dropped his bag and chased after him in another feeble attempt to force him into his sorely neglected fatherly duties. Maybe things really hadn't changed as much as he thought after all.

* * *

Later that night, Tatsuha was still trying to get back in the swing of things. He didn't know how he'd be able to return to his temple duties, but he supposed he would manage. Luckily, his father had enough mercy to pardon him from his duties until his arm healed, under the presumption that a one-armed monk would bring more bad than good to the temple. 

The young monk was currently working on his schoolwork in a desperate game of catch-up. He was sure that if he missed any more school days, his teachers wouldn't allow him to graduate. What did a monk need Calculus for, anyway? Groaning, Tatsuha pushed himself away from his desk for a break. He glanced at the clock and realized he'd been running the academic mill for three hours straight. He decided he was due for a break. Creeping silently down the hall so as not to disturb his father, Tatsuha slipped into the temple garden and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He hadn't been allowed any tobacco or alchohol for an inhumane amount of time, and he was craving a little indulgence. He lit up.

"Can I bum one?"

Tatsuha yelped and dropped his lighter. He whirled around to face none other than Uesugi-san, who had somehow managed to sneak up behind him undetected. How embarrasing. Caught off guard, Tatsuha fumbled for the appropriate response.

"Huh?" No, that wasn't it. "You mean, you...you don't mind?" Better. Uesugi-san quirked an eyebrow at his youngest offspring.

"If I minded, do you honestly think I'd ask you for one? Honestly, it kills me that you actually think you're getting away with something by doing that. Your brother was the same way, always thinking he was fooling me by sneaking around," he muttered. Tatsuha blinked, thoroughly confused. He was sure his father knew about his smoking, drinking, and occasional use of recreational drugs, but he'd never thought him to be so accepting of said addictions. After reaching down to retrieve his fallen lighter, Tatsuha passed it to his father along with his pack of smokes. He watched his father light up curiously, having never seen his father smoke a cigarette before. Pipes, sure, but regular old smokes? Never. His father took a long drag and studied his son carefully.

"Tell me what to do," he stated plainly. Tatsuha brow furrowed in confusion. "Tell me what I can do," he elaborated, "to make sure you don't end up like Eiri." Seeing Tatsuha's bewildered expression, Uesugi-san took another long drag and switched topics. "I wasn't a good father." _Understatement of the year. _"I'm man enough to admit that. I'm also man enough to admit that I don't even know how to be a good father. If I could go back in time to when you all were younger, I'd probably still have no idea what to do. But I can't change the past, Tatsuha, and I can't make right all the injustices I've done you over the years. So, I'm asking you now, what can I do? What can I do to keep from losing another son?"

Tatsuha was blown away. His father was standing next to him, smoking a cigarette, and asking how he could be a better father. His father, an Uesugi, was admitting that he was wrong. Hell, he was damn near apologizing, a feat very few Uesugi family members had ever acheived. Then, he thought about that man, his father, who had done nothing but walk away from him all his life. The man who had neglected and ignored his children every day since his wife's death. The man he had come to resent strongly, yet still strove with all his might to please. There he stood, vulnerable, weak. Suddenly, Tatsuha realized that, at that very moment, he had the power to hurt his father the way he had hurt Tatsuha all his life.

So, he turned to walk away.

And then he realized,

that he was doing exactly what Eiri would have done.

He turned back to face his father, the man who had done him wrong all his life, but was now trying to make amends. His father, who was trying to help his son so he wouldn't become a bitter, hateful person. Tatsuha flashed him a cocky smirk and plopped down on the garden steps.

"Well, old man, the list is pretty long," he said. "It may take awhile." Uesugi-san slowly sank down beside his son, looking more than a little uncomfortable, but also fairly pleased with his son's answer. He cleared his throat and spoke up.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you?"

Tatsuha lit another cigarette and smiled.

"Let me tell you about it."

The End.

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A/N: WAHHHH!!!! It's over, except for the sequel, which should be coming soon. Yuki-lovers, please don't hate me for this. I relaize I did a lot of indirect Yuki-bashing, but it was just to make a point. I also realize that most wouldn't forgive their parents for neglecting them all their lives, but think about it. Wouldn't you be willing to take any chance to form a positive relationship with your family? I think Tatsuha would, since that's what he seems to do with Yuki all the time. Also, it seems that he's been around so much bitterness and resentfulness that he wouldn't want to choose that for himself. Or, I could just be a sucker for good family dynamics. If only real life could be like that. is a sucker for brotherly/fatherly relationships 

Anyhoo, thank you all for reading my humble fic, and look out for the sequel, entitled Canvas, featuring, Tatsuha as a painter!!! (Also, that's when Tatsuha's attackers will be found and prosecuted! DUN DUN DUNNN!!!!)

PS: Extra icky Home-Ec Cookies to anyone who can guess where the last line came from. Hint: It comes from a book, and it's also the last line of that book, and it was the inspiration for this story.


End file.
